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Wednesday, November 12, 2008
why Abdullah Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the evening
Ah Beng's jokes
Ah Beng bought a new mobile.He sent a message to everyone from his phone book and said, "My mobile number has changed. Earlier it was Nokia N95. Now it is E71".
#2
Ah Beng told his servant, "Go and water the plants!" The servant replied, "It's already raining". Ah Beng said, "So what? Take an umbrella and go".
#3
AH BENG: If I die, will u remarry?
WIFE: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
AH BENG: No, I'll also stay with your sister.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Married Humour 8
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'
Married Humour 7
The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'
Married Humour 6
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
Married Humour 5
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
Married Humour 4 - Stress Reliever
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
Married Humour 3
Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears..'
Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'
Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'
Married Humour 2
Husband : 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife : 'Yes or no.'
Married Humour 1
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband : 'I was looking for the expiry date.'
Monday, October 20, 2008
Whether Democrat or Republican....this is funny
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'
Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family , so call me The President.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense.
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.
So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.'
The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'
The little boy replies, 'The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Who says women can't park?
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
How many Legs are there inside the bus?
There is a bus with 7 girls inside,
Each girl has 7 bags,
Inside each bag, there are 7 Big cats,
Each Big cat has 7 small cats,
All cats have 4 Legs each!
Question: How many Legs are there inside the bus?
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Beware of scams on the internet!!
While legitimate merchants are striving hard to build credibility on line, scammers are also lurking on the un-suspect consumers and damaging the legitimate merchant's effort.
Some readers of celebrity blogger Dawn Yang have found themselves hundreds of dollars poorer because of an ad posted on her website. Read all about it Here
What has Dawn got to say? This is what she posted on her blog:
"Some time ago, I was approached to do an advertisement on my blog for the aforementioned website. I visited the online store, and since everything seemed professional and legitimate, I hence put up the advertisement. Subsequently I received e-mail complaints that it might be a scam, as such I put up a disclaimer and a warning to my readers to be careful. Unfortunately I later had to take everything down as another company contacted me to say that the website had unlawfully used their copyright images including the company logo, and requested I remove the entire ad in case their customers or any potential customers thought it was them.
I am deeply sorry and apologize to the affected readers who had purchased items from the fake store. I recommend them to make a police report, and I will gladly help furnish any available details I have of the company."
Is Dawn to be blamed? That's another subject..
Well, if the seller is asking for money to be transfered to a bank account, beware...
Legitimate seller will use proper "shopping carts" or Paypal (which is free to merchants).
So buyers, beware.
The reason why Joe Augustin is fired!!
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Why Joe Augustin and Petrina Kow are off the air
"I guess some of you might be wondering why we’ve suddenly disappeared on air, even though all you’ve heard from us is that we’re just taking one week’s leave.
Before the rumours get real silly, I thought I’d set things straight since I kinda started the ball rolling.
So here we go…"
Read all about it at PetrinaAndJoe
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Mas Selamat cost ISD Superintendent his job?
The ISD Superintendent was sacked. But did the escape cost him his job?
From the report, we know that it was his decision to saw off the window's handle when it was found that the grilles was not fixed. How intelligent is such a decision? At Superintendent level, surely there should be a level of common sense and intelligence.
How did a person who is capable of making such a decision reach that level of authority?
Perhaps there are lessons that we can learn from this incident too.
What you cannot eat at breakfast.......
Does anyone know the answer?
Ha, this little rascal......
The answer is : " Lunch and Dinner!"
Thursday, May 15, 2008
After the crocodile joke....
........Answer is : Coconut!
Why ?? Co....Co...Nut sound also like "kock" "kock" nut
If you wonder why, click here to find out.
Good Luck!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
Reptile that will die exactly by 2 knocks - not more, not less
Which reptile will die precisely with 2 knocks? Not more , not less but exactly 2 knocks....
Answer : Crocodile !
You need to be Singaporean to understand this.....
"kock" + "kock" = die..... Kock-Kock-Die.... sounds like crocodile....
2 kocks = 2 knocks............
watch out for the sequels to this.......
This one real funny....Ah Lian buy stocking....
Ah Chek : Lu siao ah! stocking wear up to 'yeo' (waist) only, where got up to the 'nee'(breast) one.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Happy Mother's Day !
This is a story that I received via e-mail and would like to share with you - "8 Lies Of A Mother" and here it goes:
This story begins when I was a child: I was born poor. Often we hadn't enough to eat. Whenever we had some food, Mother often gave me her portion of rice. While she was transferring her rice into my bowl, she would say 'Eat this rice, son! I'm not hungry.'
This was Mother's First Lie.
As I grew, Mother gave up her spare time to fish in a river near our house; she hoped that from the fish she caught, she could give me a little bit more nutritious food for my growth. Once she had caught just two fish, she would make fish soup. While I was eating the soup, mother would sit beside me and eat what was still left on the bone of the fish I had eaten; My heart was touched when I saw it. Once I gave the other fish to her on my chopstick but she immediately refused it and said, 'Eat this fish, son! I don't really like fish.'
This was Mother's Second Lie.
Then, in order to fund my education, Mother went to a Match Factory to bring home some used matchboxes which she filled with fresh matchsticks. This helped her get some money to cover our needs. One wintry night I awoke to find Mother filling the matchboxes by candlelight. So I said, 'Mother, go to sleep; it's late: you can continue working tomorrow morning.' Mother smiled and said 'Go to sleep, son! I'm not tired.'
This was Mother's Third Lie
When I had to sit my Final Examination, Mother accompanied me. After dawn, Mother waited for me for hours in the heat of the sun. When the bell rang, I ran to meet her. Mother embraced me and poured me a glass of tea that she had prepared in a thermos. The tea was not as strong as my Mother's love, Seeing Mother covered with perspiration; I at once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too. Mother said 'Drink, son! I'm not thirsty!
This was Mother's Fourth Lie.
After Father's death, Mother had to play the role of a single parent. She held on to her former job; she had to fund our needs alone. Our family's life was more complicated. We suffered from starvation. Seeing our family's condition worsening, my kind Uncle who lived near my house came to help us solve our problems big and small. Our other neighbors saw that we were poverty stricken so they often advised my mother to marry again. But Mother refused to remarry saying 'I don't need love.'
This was Mother's Fifth Lie.
After I had finished my studies and gotten a job, it was time for my old Mother to retire but she carried on going to the market every morning just to sell a few vegetables. I kept sending her money but she was steadfast and even sent the money back to me. She said, 'I have enough money.'
That was Mother's Sixth Lie.
I continued my part-time studies for my Master's Degree. Funded by the American Corporation for which I worked, I succeeded in my studies. With a big jump in my salary, I decided to bring Mother to enjoy life in America but Mother didn't want to bother her son; she said to me 'I'm not used to high living.'
That was Mother's Seventh Lie
In her dotage, Mother was attacked by cancer and had to be hospitalized. Now living far across the ocean, I went home to visit Mother who was bedridden after an operation. Mother tried to smile but I was heartbroken because she was so thin and feeble but Mother said, 'Don't cry, son! I'm not in pain.'
That was Mother's Eighth Lie.
Telling me this, her eighth lie, she died.
YES, MOTHER WAS AN ANGEL!
M - O - T - H - E - R
'M' is for the Million things she gave me,
'O' means Only that she's growing old,
'T' is for the Tears she shed to save me,
'H' is for her Heart of gold,
'E' is for her Eyes with love-light shining in them,
'R' means Right, and right she'll always be,
Put them all together, they spell 'MOTHER' a word that means the world to me.
For those of you who are lucky to be still blessed with your Mom's presence on Earth, this story is beautiful. For those who aren't so blessed, this is even more beautiful.